The Healing Place
Thank you for searching for help. If you’ve had an abortion, and feel like you are the “only one” experiencing pain, understand that you are not alone. I’ve spoken to thousands of post-abortive individuals over the years and that is one thing I’ve learned.
As someone who has experienced first-hand the lasting effects of abortion, I know that many of you reading this site have experienced this painful choice – perhaps even multiple times. According to statistics from abortion providers, thirty-three percent of American women have experienced abortion at least once before the age of 45 years. Only a select few ever find the courage to discuss this past decision or even look at this loss within the confines of their own hearts.
For those of you who are post-abortive, struggling and beginning to fathom how your life was changed by this pregnancy loss, I would like to extend to you my compassion — as well as a supporting arm to guide you along the way to healing. I encourage you to view the list of post-abortion syndrome (a form of post-traumatic stress disorder) and begin understand how abortion may have affected you directly. There is a way to peace and completeness in spite of the loss that we’ve chosen. Our site was designed to help you in that journey.
At some point in our lives, most of us will understand that the abortion had long-term consequences on our lives. Post-Abortion Syndrome Symptoms.
- Some will struggle with infertility and fear that they are somehow being punished for rejecting their child
- Others with deep pain that manifests itself around certain times of the year (the anniversary dates of either the abortion or the due date of the aborted child)
- A number will experience eating disorders
- Many will not be able to experience the pleasure of sex
- A large portion will face substance abuse (alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, etc.) to assist in block the painful memories of the abortion
- A few will find themselves in prison due to the dysfunctional behavior that can be rooted in the pain of this choice
- Still others will struggle to bond emotionally with future children
- Many won’t realize that a lot of their pain is a direct result of their past abortion experience
- Nightmares, flashbacks or even hallucinations relating to the abortion can plague many of us at some point in our lives
- Some will fear crying because we consider the great potential that once we start crying, we will never be able to stop
- Lingering feelings of resentment and anger towards people involved in the abortion can surface in many post-abortive hearts
- At the least, when the subject of abortion comes up, a great deal of post-abortive people experience feelings of guilt, anger or sorrow and have a reluctance to talk about the subject at all.
There are many other angles of post-abortive pain. But for everyone who has chosen abortion — regardless of the circumstances surrounding this decision and number of abortions — there is good news! Thousands of us who have chosen abortion have found healing when we finally stopped running from these memories. The same peace that I have found is available for you!
For most individuals, abortion is a closely held secret. Rarely do we talk about this pain with family or friends. This is because of feelings like fear of judgment, guilt, shame and grief. In searching for this site you have taken a step of great courage. My prayer is that this won’t be your first step but the beginning of a journey that will lead to restoration and healing.
Post-abortion Syndrome (PAS) is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder and can affect more than just the mother and father. It could be that you are not post-abortive but are trying to help your spouse or a friend. Maybe you are working to help someone who is considering an abortion. Regardless of the circumstance, we are here to help you.
In this section of our web site, entitled “The Healing Place,” we want to make it very clear that we believe there is no healing outside of Jesus Christ. From many years of working in the crisis pregnancy ministry area, and from sharing with thousands of other ministry leaders, I know that God is the only healer. Therefore, this section will offer Christian principles that lead to God’s healing touch.
From the extensive amount of mail that we receive, we understand that many of us felt we had no other choice but abortion. We believe that abortion is one of the greatest traumas a woman can experience. Our goal will be to provide you with referrals to organizations in your area that can help you in many ways. I would be very happy to share with you my own abortion experience to help you understand what this choice means to your future. I can also provide you with local help that includes free pregnancy tests. For more thoughts from my heart, read Sydna’s Story
Again, you are not alone in your feelings. The Alan Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, states that, “at current rates, 43% of all women will experience abortion at least once by the age of 45 years” (www.agi-usa.org – The Alan Guttmacher Institute, “Facts in Brief: Induced Abortion,” 2000). If abortion is so common, why is it that you rarely hear anyone sharing about their own abortion experience? Clearly an abortion choice is not something we share easily.
If you are struggling not to cry, please give yourself permission to embrace your tears and understand that you are not going crazy. Crying is a healthy activity and can release help you find peace. Few have “gone mental” from crying. Tears are the body’s way or ridding itself of toxins. A good cry is something we shouldn’t avoid. Be careful of those around you, however, because they may not understand your emotions and fear that they have done something to cause you pain. Find a private place to begin the process of mourning.
Please know that we are not here to judge you. I have personally had an abortion and have found peace and healing. Regardless of the number of abortions you have experienced, God’s love is for everyone. Our goal will be to assist you in any way and help you find local support with others who have also experienced abortion. The fellowship of others will help you understand that thousands of us share your pain.
I strongly recommend that you consider obtaining a copy of my book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion. It shares my testimony and the healing journey that was discovered with God’s help. You can order this book and many other helpful tools by visiting Our Resources page.
Helping Someone Else
If you are trying to help someone else who has had an abortion, understand that this choice could affect your heart as well. It’s normal for people to grieve when someone dies. So please feel free to grieve a child that is lost even if it might not be your own.
The best thing you can do for this person is show them you are not going to judge them but want to help. Understand that some may not want your help or may be unable to look at this past choice. Be patient and pray for them as much as possible. In time, God can bring them to the people who will be able to help them heal. Find the local pregnancy care center in your area and research their post-abortive program. If possible, find the name and e-mail address of the person in charge and provide this information to your friend/loved one. Sometimes it’s easier for the post-abortive to send an e-mail versus making a call and actually speaking to someone about their abortion.
If this person hasn’t talked to you about their abortion in a long period of time, be careful in bringing up the subject with them. It’s different if they’ve asked you to help them. Remember that you can’t force them to find healing – no matter how good you know it will be for them. The Lord has a perfect time in their lives to begin to address this pain. What you can do is this — obtain a copy of my book, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion, and mail it to them in a plain brown envelope. Mailing it is preferred because they won’t have to speak to you directly about it. Write a brief note and say that you saw this resource and thought it might be helpful to them some day in the future. Don’t ask them if they’ve received the book or expect them to tell you. You may never know if it helps them. Yet with this gift you will know that they have something that can help them when they are ready to look at this pain.
Should you have additional questions, comments or concerns, please feel free to e-mail me directly at[email protected] I will strive to answer each message in a timely manner. However, my schedule can keep me out of the office for days at a time. If you have not heard from me in more than a week, please resend your message. The Internet is not without problems and mail can be lost. As quickly as possible, understand that I am here to help you as much as I can from the healing that God has provided to my own wounded heart.
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